uthinki Considered Opinion?
‘Twas the time before Christmas, in a transactional 2024
Not an election riot stirred, elsewhere shaken by war;
The mocking of past, now pardoned without care,
In the hopes a legacy be remembered somewhere;
Costs nestled, searching for money hidden under any beds,
While Olympiad visions breakdanced like rayguns to heads
And DOGMA AGE an anagram costly to the thinking cap,
Had thrifty ideas: Grinch, Scrooge, Jewish, this and that—
When out of prawns, save money with a see food platter,
Sprung with thrift, Lapland was an exotic dancer matter?
Away to window-shopping some moved in a flash,
Look but don’t touch, helps with the saving of cash.
New and affordable characters appeared for those in the know,
Nonbinary the Noman, Stinky the Smelf, and Orange Jesus below;
Trademark pending, xmas spelling is more efficient it does appear,
But costly things, even miniature, less cheap rain than reindeer,
A little older, the allure of last year’s mullets fading quick,
New in this moment, bad moustaches disgraced many a lip.
Mary, Holly, and Carol, on a course set by candlelight they came,
Gifting a golden age, were three wise women by any other name:
Now dashed with eggnog, you dancer and you prancer, a vixen,
One comment, please Cupid, blunder, try next holiday season?
To the top of the world! Topping the North Pole, beyond it all!
Now beyond alphas! Sigma male rises! Away all others fall!
As claimed as they leave, the clocks stopped as they went by,
Flashing lights, whirling, something flies through the night sky,
So above house-tops, it was UFOs, conspiracy theorists knew,
Santa travels timelessly, a plot to end daylight savings too:
And in a twinkling, Krampus and Rudolph under the same roof
Prancing and clawing, then their sharing of shoes on each hoof.
As earlier, enough to draw in a head, turning around,
Down went the protest and within earshot resound:
Elves well dress’d, but not tall enough measured head to foot,
Campaigned on, bearing a cross, untarnished by ashes and soot;
A bundle of thoughts, the greatest story never told to unpack,
No Easter resurrection needed, the Orange Messiah was back:
His smile—how it wrinkled! His wreath of hair: how merry,
A fisher of men; delivered cake, icing, and on top a cherry;
His droll tariff ideas tithes by another name you know,
And more could be said but this here is a family show;
An olive branch held tight within beak or teeth,
A toothpick for caught turkey or a sign of peace?
Tiny Tim drew a long face, and clutched at his empty belly
Shook fist at absent xmas® goose, unable to afford even jelly:
There’s freeganism and dumpster diving, spoke the Smelf,
Laugh at use by and best before, dated guidelines for shelf;
Nonbinary gave their presence twisting in heart and in head
Doing so on social media, because they’re over 16 they said.
Plum puddings were exposed as part of a deep cake network,
And hammed up baubles on tannenbaums decrypted murk,
And is it all metaphorical or more literal prose
And to give a nod, it’s more doggerel I suppose.
It’s a wonderful life, and another festive miracle,
And with power, alleged wrongs precede dismissal:
But whatever the claims, needles threaded without sight—
Merry Christmas to all, and to all of 2024 afford a good night!
